Some useful tips from Munroe
Return of the Daily Smile
- Thread starter Arma
- Start date
Sometimes irresistible.
Mad poet : "Once, in a lifetime, a truly heroic ... sample ... was tested.
The first one ... in ages."
The first one ... in ages."
Cm
Sentinel of Light
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH.
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Cajun seasoning, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Sweetheart, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the South.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Cajun seasoning, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Sweetheart, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the South.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
How far south?
pibbur who has his suspicions, but ...
pibbur who has his suspicions, but ...
Bah! "Savannah" is not a typical Georgian name, and besides, they don't use latin script over there.
ფიბბურ
For the record: This particular gate must have been there since 2006.
Carnifex
SasqWatch
I've lived in South Carolina, Georgia, North Carolina, and now Florida. The true south has many different flavours.
Port Macquarie: Kangaroo 'tries to drown' man in Australia floodwaters
The marsupial held the man down in floodwater after they got into a fight near Port Macquarie.
www.bbc.com
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2022
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- 345
The Master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices.
"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" asked the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?" asked the novice.
The Master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said.
The funny thing about this is that you can replace DOS with a lot of things (for instance Windows 11), thus making entirely new jokes. Some of you no doubt will appreciate this one:
The Master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices.
"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" asked the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in the Oblivion game for a personal computer?" asked the novice.
The Master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said.
pibbuR who is sure that Tao is not in him, partially because he doesn't know what Tao is (and didn't bother to look it up).
"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" asked the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?" asked the novice.
The Master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said.
The funny thing about this is that you can replace DOS with a lot of things (for instance Windows 11), thus making entirely new jokes. Some of you no doubt will appreciate this one:
The Master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices.
"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" asked the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the Master.
"Is the Tao in the Oblivion game for a personal computer?" asked the novice.
The Master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson is over for today," he said.
pibbuR who is sure that Tao is not in him, partially because he doesn't know what Tao is (and didn't bother to look it up).
