Mount & Blade - AAR @ RPS

Rock, Paper, Shotgun's Kieron Gillen has penned a humorous After Action Report on the first couple of hours playing with the new Mount & Blade release.  Apparently the new version has a bug, which can see you starting in the wilderness and under-equipped -- just the thing for some mayhem:

I go to see the Lord and see if there’s any missions that I could possibly complete. Good grooming leads to him not caring about my disrobed state, and he points me in the direction of a murderer to hunt down. Since I’m playing on standard difficultly – so I’m a lot harder than the average combatant – I figure I could deal with this. I head to the shops, and see what my coins can buy. Firstly, some chicken, as a man’s got to eat. Secondly, a weapon and some armour. The only thing I can afford is a big stick and a woman’s dress. This is me, cross-dressing…

Sexy, I know. I head off the the village where the murder was rumoured to be hiding. I get there with no trouble. When I say “no Trouble” I mean “I met a rampaging group of bandits, was captured, dragged around the country for a few days, then escaped”, but since I only had a handful of coins, I couldn’t lose much. In the village, I question a few of the locals, then head up to the nervous looking guy near the windmill and beat him unconscious with my awesome stick of twattage.