First just want to apologize for going a bit overboard. This will sound stupid and inane but I never talked about that to anyone, ever. Not my mom, grandma, brother, sister or friends. I guess I really wanted to make you guys understand that I didn't think this way just because I think I'm better than anyone else ( if you really knew me, you would be laughing you butt off right now
) but I wanted to convey what experiences led me to that type of attitude. It didn't help being called a Nazi
Once I started writing about the slow death of my dad I just couldn't stop. It's been over a decade since he died and didn't realize how much it still hurts. I was a little surprised how I could recall almost every single detail in those two years after my dad was "laid off" from Hughes Aircraft. Funny my friends death was short but dad's was hell on Earth for a long time.
Also sorry to Alrik and Myrthos. I guess I didn't explain my thinking clearly enough in the first post and it did sound like I had a holy than thou attitude. It's funny, I think this is the first time the "Big dog" Myrthos responded to one of my posts and it was to call me an idiot lol.
Vhoa.
So much hate for a desperate, pubescent kid, Skaven. Puberty is a very difficult time for some folks, and getting bullied doesn't exactly help.
According to this thread
http://www.rpgwatch.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3678&highlight=personality+testmost most of us are introverted, typical personality associated with our given genre I would guess, yet we all managed to come through high school alive. Personally. I barely made it through, but I did in the end with some help from a shrink and my friends.
As you can maybe tell in the previous post, I didn't really have much help from my family. That didn't come until later with my grandma. Mom was too busy with work and boyfriends (divorced) and Dad was an hour's drive away and too busy being a big shot at Hughes (didn't move back in with him till after I left High School). Point being here is that if someone like me can make it then anyone can, it just takes the will to live. Even if life is hell and everyday you wake up and beat yourself up about the stupid things you've done or said, you have to keep going because the alternative is too horrible to do.
I don't hate this girl, neither do I feel sorry for her. When I talked about hating them I was talking more about my friend and dad, at the same time I don't feel sorry or pity her either. She made her choice. Her choice was the selfish one. She cared more about someone that she met online than she cared about her other friends or family. Lets face it folks the world isn't rainbows and lollipops. There are cruel people out there. It seems like the older I get the more cynical of the human race I become. Sure there are good people in the world that care about their fellow man and environment but it just seems to me that there are far too many more cruel people in it. That doesn't make it okay for people to be cruel to one another it's just a fact of life. Especially, living in a free society where you are allowed freedom of speech. I'm not going to go into the whole debate on freedom vs censorship, it's just reality.
Skaven, I'm not going to offer any words of comfort for the obvious pain you feel; they wouldn't help while everything is still so raw and you wouldn't appreciate them. In some ways, I agree with the basis of your point; suicide is a selfish act which often devastates the people left behind. However, I don't believe people who commit suicide are necessarily weak; they're mostly sick, desperate and in some ways, in as much 'pain' as you are. Yes, it's wrong, but unfortunately, they don't see it that way. I could argue quite logically and reasonably that people who smoke are actually committing SLOW suicide, but my arguments have never convinced anyone to quit; it's the same thing!!
I had to mention awhile that I smoked, didn't I
I knew that would come back and bite me in the ass. As for the pain being still so raw and fresh, even I didn't realize that until I decided (on a whim I normally avoid these discussions like the plague because I always get my butt kicked in them or at least in politics and religion I do, stupid "off topic" made it seem safe to comment) to check out "Why do people that?" lol Seemed safe enough, I figured it was something stupid about silly things people do. After I got done reading all the responses, the one thing that kept entering my mind was what about the people left behind. What are they nothing to her? All this talk about the poor girl and then the response by the community. Ok, the mob has been appeased now that the evil doer has been punished and the politicians have their brand spanking new law. What about what the girl did? Is she not to blame at all or are we just going to say poor girl, she was depressed and she was forced to commit suicide because of that bad person. Call me evil/cynical/warped/grumpy whatever but the fact is that woman didn't didn't put a gun to her head, what she did was horrible and disgusting but still she didn't pull the trigger.
As far as being sick, there are lots of people who deal with depression or being sick yet stick around. This once again may be a harsh way of saying it but the alternative once again is more horrible.
this isn't a dig just a
"please explain the double standard" moment
how can someone be so vehemently against suicide by the average troubled sole but have nirvana as one of their favourite bands!?!?!
ohh the irony...
Love the band, think the singer was an idiot. You really want irony try this one on for size. The person who introduced me to grunge rock and other bands like Nirvana, NIN, Ministry, The Cramps, Ska (can't remember the name of any Ska bands right now), Skinny Puppy (Never understood the why people liked them, sounded like overrated noise to me), misfits etc... was her. She even convinced me to dye my hair blue and get a Mohawk in the 10th grade.
Sorry, that isn't so much irony as it is just what she meant to me. So to conclude this rather long (less rantish) post. It's easy to feel sorry for anyone who kills themselves because we can say they were depressed or poor them they couldn't deal with the hardships of life, but in the end if even one person cares for you and you kill yourself, then you will destroy a part of your loved one forever. Now tell me that isn't selfish and cruel and I'll tell you about how I broke down just writing this stupid post.