Well, no shit, Joxer. I'm speaking in generalities. If you're just trying to declare yourself not to be a rapist, well, neither am I. But the fact remains, males are the real perpetrators of this crime.
You are entirely incorrect.
I spent many years attending one specific gay nightclub in my town, approximately 4 years. I was openly bisexual and attracted attention from both males and females. I received enough attention that I never felt the need to be predatory myself as a routine. I enjoyed the attention of people predatorising me and I very occasionally tried to predatorise someone else, but with very little success on the one or two occasions.
What do we mean by 'predatorisation'? It means actively trying to seduce someone who hasn't previously shown any interest in you. Essentially, it's a cunts-eye version of the word seduce.
And you know what…
The scariest encounters I ever had were from women. And I ain't bullshitting. Even bald men the size of barns were like cherubs in my company. Even if I took them back to my place, they behaved like they were walking on glass the whole time.
My scariest moment? One that still lives with me today as one moment where I came very close to calling the police? A group of lesbians came onto the dance floor, many of whom I had never ever seen before. And they started to grope me. Violently. Grinning and laughing the whole time. The more I repelled them the more they came on harder.
Never once did I experience that with
any men. Zero.
And the comparison of the human nature doesn't end there. As I said, when I went home with guys I never once felt threatened or like I was 'out of my depth', however, whenever I went back to a woman's place, it was like a different universe.
Very often you'd get back to the woman's place and you'd chat for a bit and then she'd suggest it was time for bed. As with the old Lennon song "And then I noticed there wasn't a chair", e.g. The only place to sit was the bed. So I'd often find myself 'in bed' with girls.
However, when one is 'in bed' with a guy, it's normally the guys who start any sexual activity. You could almost say it's a mutual situation. That clothes are normally off quite quickly before you've even settled down. However, with girls, they almost universally all hesitate to 'make the first move'.
Even though you've been chatting all night, getting drunk together, and then having them take you back to their place, not from pressure but just as a result of natural conversation, to a home that is just a bed in a room, even though it's fairly obvious why the two of us are in this situation… the woman will not attempt to make the first move nor make any attempt at 'mutual expectation'.
And this might just be an English thing, or maybe just a northern European thing, or it might just be a woman thing, but the male, in this scenario, still has to 'act predatorily', has to 'continue to seduce' even though the obvious preamble has seemingly already be achieved.
And, again, it's fucking scary. I remember one specific woman who invited me into her bed and then just lay there. Like a dead body. With a look on her face like she'd already been raped. I'm about as turned on as a broken television set. Am I supposed to be turning her on? Even though it was her who stole me away from someone else? Am I supposed to 'go at her', even though I am receiving no mutuality signals?
Am I setting myself up for a 'he raped me gag'?
Why have we even got ourselves in a position as a society where people even have to think about this kind of stuff.
Anyway, scared the shit out of me, and that woman got no sex that night and we never 'met-up' again. I felt like a failed man but I might just have saved myself 'drama', but even then, nowadays, jeez, she could just say "He groped me for a bit" in that situation and WHAMO, goodbye career.
It's insane.
I could go on.
I'm also not saying that there weren't shit blokes around during those years. But I am saying that I managed to never get myself in a situation with them… Even though they might be… right there in front of me predatorising me. [trying to seduce me]. Because, you know, we kinda decide if we'll ever sleep with someone pretty much instantly when we first see them anyway… and so all the signals get sent subconsciously long before 'anything even happens' anyway.