As a "theatrical artist", I've a MUCH higher standard than most when it comes to acting, writing, and the directing of talent. I've worked with (and been mentored by) too much talent (American Theatre) to settle for second, let alone third rate acting.
My first attempt at Mass Effect lasted for all of about three hours. Male Shepard's voice acting made my ears bleed. Granted, I was in college at the time double majoring in Theatre (writing, directing, history, text analysis),History (China, Japan), and was no doubt more than a little full of myself. That doesn't change the fact that Mark Meer gave a god awful performance.
It wasn't until ME 2 came out a year or so later -to great reviews- that I gave 1 another shot, this time as female Shep. HUGE difference. Hale was good in the first game, but seriously stepped up her game in the second installment. Meer gave a SLIGHTLY better performance in 2, but Hale blew him out of the water. Yes, yes, some will say that evaluation of their individual performances is subjective, but no, he sucked.
Any one involved in the arts will tell you -subjectivity taken fully into account- that some people simply have more talent than others. Hale is a much more talented actor than Meer. Regardless, while I've no contempt what so ever for those who prefer male Shep, for me Shepard is, and always will be, female. Not based on any political POV, but the performance of a very talented actor (yes, in the art world, "actor" has become a largely gender neutral descriptive).