RPGWatch Feature - Black Geyser Review

[Nereida]

Yeah sorry I meant the Most Recent of 30 days yes. Overall it's 72%, not bad for a first product indie imo

72% for the tamest audience with the least choice, people who will play literally any isometric looking shit you throw at them and have the lowest standards in the gaming industry. Also, 64% in Metacritic. I can't find any isometric RPG with a worse user score, so essentially, this is the bottom of the barrel. It doesn't get worse.

Forgettable isometric RPGs that nobody cares about or even remembers existing like Tower of Time or Druidstone have around 80% user scores both in Steam and Metacritic.

30 people play Black Geyser worldwide, just a few months after its release.

Sure it's a "not bad".

Keep deluding yourself, it seems to be working.

 

[Stingray]

30 people play Black Geyser worldwide, just a few months after its release.

4 people are currently playing Knights of the Chalice 2, a few months after its official release, and it's an amazing game, probably the most fun I've had with any game this year.

Pretty surprising that Druidstone has an 83% rating on Steam. That game looked so bad.

 

[bjon045]

4 people are currently playing Knights of the Chalice 2, a few months after its official release, and it's an amazing game, probably the most fun I've had with any game this year.

Pretty surprising that Druidstone has an 83% rating on Steam. That game looked so bad.

Have to agree with you. I'm saving KotC2 till it is fully patched though!

Tower of Time I recently finished and while I found bits of it enjoyable the overall game sadly became highly repetitive. Almost every combat played exactly the same and there was just far too much of it. I would give it a 6/10 but if it had of been half as long I might of given it a 7.

Druidstone I haven't played yet but I have heard average things about it as well. It doesn't look like my cup of tea. Wish they had of made a Grimrock 3. I quite enjoyed both Grimrock 1&2 but sadly they didn't sell enough.

As for Nereida, since the first attack failed (reviews) they have decided to try another equally futile avenue of attack!

 

[Nereida]

Black Geyser has the lowest review score of any isometric RPG ever released that I can find and has barely sold any copies because of how objectively atrociously bad it is as a product. Even then, people keep making scorned, pathetic, defensive posts in denial addressing me rather than the topic itself.

Yes, I can see myself failing here so very clearly.

You need to level up and get some self-esteem man, you're of some age already. If you don't respect yourself, nobody will.

 

[Andrew23]

Please, everybody, stop praising this pathetic attempt to develop game. We were repeatedly informed about this from reliable source of refined tastes. Now everybody GO and play something decent, like Tales of Arise, which is GOTY and definitely doesnt reek of mediocrity on all levels aside of visuals.

 

[Centaur]

Keep deluding yourself, it seems to be working.

Taking into account the commonly accepted definition of delusion, I'm afraid it's someone else deluding herself here.

Also, you were referring to reviews a couple of weeks ago. You considered them as a credible indicator. Now you don't.

Logic.

 

[Stingray]

Black Geyser has the lowest review score of any isometric RPG ever released that I can find

Mechajammer and Waylanders come to mind, just from the last year...

 

[Nereida]

Look, it's the special offended snowflakes, in full force.

I'm sorry you can't deal with the fact that this game sucks and sold like 20 copies worldwide and the developer will hopefully vanish in the muck of mediocrity it should have never emerged from. The media aren't even reviewing this game, that's how irrelevant it is. Good chance that in a few years there won't be even a record that it ever existed.

I get it that bunching up against me helps you derive some semblance of self-worth, but no amount of bandwagoning in your shitty little pond will change the fact, so deal with it.

 

[Centaur]

 

[bjon045]

Taking into account the commonly accepted definition of delusion, I'm afraid it's someone else deluding herself here.

Also, you were referring to reviews a couple of weeks ago. You considered them as a credible indicator. Now you don't.

Logic.

It is quite funny. There are 8 reviews on metacritic. There are 414 reviews on Steam. They used to say the steam reviews are a problem. Now they are relying on 8 reviews from random people that may not even own the game!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Someone has lost all credibility I think!

 

[JDR13]

I'm not sure that person ever had much credibility here.

 

[Nereida]

Not relying on the Metacritic reviews, merely mentioned them. I would rely on the IGN review, but alas IGN doesn't give a fuck about this sad excuse for a game. Nor does any review site, apparently. Only a bunch of old men in a dying western niche RPG site with the poorest taste and no standards would even delude themselves into finding any redeemable traits in it.

You can circlejerk as much as you like, the only fact is that you know that this game will still be utter shit and vanish without as much as a whimper, while nobody of consequence ever played it or wrote a line about it. With luck, the developers will find a job at Mcdonald's where they well damn belong, and make room for actual talent in the gaming industry. Hopefully they can afford to buy their monthly bus pass to get to work with the money they made out of selling Black Geyser.

 

[Centaur]

Centaur wonders what Nereida will write when IGN eventually publishes a review about the game after a year, as it often happens with indie titles.

Um, no review site cares about Black Geyser indeed, sure. GameStar is the largest review site of the German speaking player community of the world (which is the second most paying player base after English). They gave Black Geyser a 70/100 after its release (when the game was admittedly much more buggy and less polished than now, as I experienced it myself as well). Just for the record.

 

[Nereida]

Oh, a German site. The famous GameStar. Wow, that's huge, man. A whole 70, you say? Damn. I just saw the review, the whole ~200 all German words. Probably that includes the intrusive pop-up commercials, that take more room on that page than the review itself. Looks like a quality site, let me tell you.

That surely makes Black Geyser Game of the Year, I'm calling it now.

And you forgot to mention Games.cz, another large community of gamers, in whatever country it was written from, I couldn't understand the language. That would complete the long list of reputed, international media that even cared to review the game.

I heard a group of Portuguese six graders reviewed it too for a school project, but I can't find the reference anymore. Let's add them anyway, to this amazingly long list of fame and glory that Black Geyser is getting.

PS: I've changed my mind, I no longer doubt if they'll be able to afford their monthly bus pass to go work at McDonald's, where they will find a favourable environment to develop their talent. All that reputation they got, I'm 100% sure they will be able to afford it now.

 

[Centaur]

No comment.

 

[Redglyph]

Ye Old Entertainment just mentioned it in his last review when he talked about Baldur's Gate 2 rip-offs. It was very brief when it came to Black Geyser and very explicit. :lol: But then, as I said elsewhere, he has his own weird opinion about games.

I don't think scores are a good indicator for small indie games, they're often more polarizing because they're imperfect and either one likes it for some personal reason, or otherwise finds it lacking.

Steam scores are probably the worst, because it's either 1 or -1. There are many games I never reviewed because neither score would have been relevant. Then there are frequent review bombs.

I'm more interested in pros and cons qualitative items.

 

[lackblogger]

I would rely on the IGN review

*double take while spitting out recently sipped water in a spewing stream*

 

[Stingray]

*double take while spitting out recently sipped water in a spewing stream*

That IGN sentence is the moment I went from "this is kind of bizarre" to "this whole thing is a big troll, right?"

 

[Centaur]

Ye Old Entertainment just mentioned it in his last review when he talked about Baldur's Gate 2 rip-offs. It was very brief when it came to Black Geyser and very explicit. :lol: But then, as I said elsewhere, he has his own weird opinion about games.

Yeah, weird opinions are even funny, but he went too far when he deleted all youtuber's comments who disagreed with some of his Black Geyser claims (I know because it was a scandal on Discord). That point, Ye Old Entertainment lost all credibility in my eyes. He had some great vibs in the past but freedom of speech is a must for me.

 

[Myrthos]

Quite often when people advocate "Freedom of speech", they think differently when they themselves are subject to said freedom of speech.